Green Beasts Drabbles
by Daikonko
Summary: A series of short BartolomeoxCavendish drabbles, because this ship needs more ship!
1. Drabbles

**Title**: **Green Beasts Drabbles**  
**Fandom**: One Piece  
**Rating**: T  
**Genre**: Romance

**Pairing**: BartolomeoxCavendish

**Warning**: Strong Language, heavy making out?  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own One Piece.

**A/N**: I swear to god this ship will sail, because I fucking ship it.

**Green Beasts Drabbles**

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Routine:

Despite very different appearances and opinions on personal hygiene ("You did what during the coliseum? I feel bad for Hack, a wonder he didn't contract herpes!" "I used my barrier! Besides if I have herpes you do too dabe!") Both spent had a ridiculously long morning routine. Both had a ridiculously high budget for beauty products and both scrambled to be the first each morning to get to the hair gel.

Accents:

The only time Cavendish insulted Bartolomeo's accent, the cannibal hadn't spoken for three days; no matter the provocation, apologizes, begging or seduction. On day 3 Cavendish had wrapped his arms around the silent man, and whispered "I didn't mean it dabe." Day four, it was like three days had never happened.

Serious:

Cavendish new it was serious when Bartolomeo barriered the kitchen door shut, and kissed him furiously. Despite Luffy's shouting on the other side.

Future:

It was terribly romantic, being held above '_Luffy-sama' _and worshiped with kisses. Outside the kitchen door he dimly heard a "gomu gomu no pistol!" Sitting under a pile of rubble of what was once the Dressrosa royal kitchen, Cavendish couldn't help but wonder if this was an indicator for what his future held. More surprisingly, clothes torn, covered in wood fragments and stone dust, hair a mess and pants half open, listening to Bartolomeo's shouting combine with the scoldings of various nakama; he couldn't help, but feel more than happy with his prospects.

Blend:

On the battle field, the two were a hurricane. Bartolomeo keeping Hakuba in check with barriers and Cavendish watching Bartolomeo's back when his barrier was stretched too thin. Together they were a sword and shield, dancing together in a seamless blend of two-step destruction. In the bedroom they were the tide, a great ebb and flow of soft nips and harsh caresses. They came together in waves and crashes, seamlessly blending into one creature of passion.

Love:

Cavendish loves himself more than anyone else ever could. Cavendish loves his fans, his crew, and his nakama as an extension of himself; because above all else, Cavendish loves Cavendish. In comes a loud mouthed pirate with parrot-crest hair and the strangest combination of bizarre feature that alone would be ugly, but together are strangely attractive. He shouts and smirks, has the tough-guy routine down to a T and Cavendish has him pegged. Straw-hat shows up and that facade turns to shit, replaced by a blushing fan boy. It gives Cavendish whiplash. He looks at Cavendish and strips away the pretty face, the fans, and the self-obsessed masquerade and suddenly Cavendish realizes that loving yourself and being loved are two very separate things. When he says I love you for the first time, months later, behind locked doors and dimmed storm lamps, it means something more than himself.

Blizzard:

Both of them are from spring islands. The cold, if ever seen, is mild. Winter brings 7-10 centimeters of snow at best. Enough to need a coat, nothing more. The new world presents a variety of weather, from sweltering heat to bitter cold and despite the freezing temperatures (to rival Punk Hazard) and the pleas from their crew. Both men refuse to button their shirts.

Romantic:

Both are secretly hopeless romantics. Cavendish reads trashy dime store romance novels and hides them in their mattress when he thinks Bartolomeo won't notice (He does). Bartolomeo secretly sends his manuscripts by storm lamp and hopes Cavendish won't realize Bar Mio is just a pen name. (He doesn't yet, but he will)

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Endnotes:

This ship needs more fanstuffs! I know this is crap, but I need more of this ship in my life.

Ps. Is it Dress Rosa or Dressrosa, I have seen both and have no idea which is right.

Dear lovelies, thank you so so so so so much for reading this piece of crap! If you enjoyed it or have any constructive criticism let me know!


	2. Even More Drabbles

**Title**: Green Beast Drabbles  
**Fandom**: One Piece  
**Rating**: T  
**Genre**: Romance  
**Pairing**: BartolomeoxCavendish

**Warning**: Mentions of people intending to have sex and having had sex. No actually sex is scene (sorry no lemon). Some Language. Basically what you would expect from a T rating.  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own One Piece. Because *insert something funny and original here*

**A/N**: Thank you everyone who has review this so far! This ship is tiny, like a lifeboat and I am so happy to see people supporting and enjoying it!  
P.S. The only people to have read this are me and spell check. That means there may be grammar errors. If you find any let me know and I will fix it.

**Green Beast Drabbles (More Drabbles)**

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First Meeting:

The first time Bartolomeo saw Cavendish was entirely by accident, and completely uneventful. It was just after he started to make it big as a pirate, and had eagerly been searching through a collection of newly released wanted posters looking for his own. Cavendish's had been three pages above his. He spared a moment to look at the picture. "That's one hot babe." He muttered and thought nothing of it. He would later learn that the "_babe_" was in fact a man, and much to Bartolomeo's confusion, he still found Cavendish just as pretty.

A Fixer Upper:

Bartolomeo was not the worst Cavendish had seen. In the pirate world you had a lot of "fixer uppers"; having even dated a few of them himself Cavendish was confident in his abilities. The man might be the physical incarnation of insulting, but Cavendish was the demon god of beauty and grace. So Cavendish didn't worry too much about it. He was sure by the time he and Bartolomeo actually became an item, the man would be nothing short of Prince Charming. 4 months later found the two of them drinking at bar in a little nowhere island. The tension between the two was heavy in the room; both eyeing each other without pretense, but still laughing jovially, enjoy the others company. Cavendish took a large swig of beer, letting out a monstrous belch. He laughed heartily at his own antics. Bartolomeo swooped in, smiling in a way that was both innocently happy and romantically aroused. "Ha-ha that's more like it dabe!" Cavendish responded with a quick peck on the lips, then licking Bartolomeo's nose and had to wonder who was fixing who.

Fairest Fairy tale:

Cavendish had once heard a story about a wicked queen and a beautiful woman. Each day the queen would ask a magic mirror who was the most beautiful in the world and each day the mirror would answer the queen. Until one day the mirror answered that the beautiful woman was the fairest. Than some stuff happened Cavendish doesn't really remember. But in the end the queen puts the women in an eternal sleep that only true love's kiss can break. Or was that another story? Well some prince comes along and sees the sleeping woman, plants one on her and they ride into the sunset. This was the first thought Cavendish had when he woke up, and it's really a shame because the real world is nothing like the story. His clothes are cold and sticky with sea water, he has sand in places sand shouldn't be. There is a hand pushing painfully on his chest and there is no way in hell Bartolomeo is a handsome prince. He does wake him up. But only so Cavendish can hurl half a gallon of seawater over his ridiculous checkered pants. Cavendish really wished he remembered the rest of the story. He wanted to know what happened to the queen. Did the prince lock her in the dungeons forever, put her to sleep for eternity, stab her through the heart? Well whatever he did, Cavendish would make sure the Cardinal Pirates new that his handsome prince was ugly as fuck and the fairest of them all, didn't sleep for long.

Date Night:

Bartolomeo had about as much class as a pineapple being shot out of constipated hedgehog. That is to say, his manners were an impossible phenomenon that was both messy and painful for everyone involved. So Cavendish was impressed when their night out only ended with them being banned from the restaurant for life and three angry brawls. What made him angrily hit the cannibal on their wall back, to the ship was to looming knowledge that he actually preferred it this way.

Kiss in the Rain (and Romantic Gestures):

It really was stupidly cliché. They're kissing in the middle of a thunderstorm like some bad romantic comedy. Only in most cheesy romances does this seems like a beautiful, touching thing. It's not. The rain is cold and feels like stinging needles on their exposed skin. Both men are soaked to the bone and, while it looks arousing in theory (all that wet clothes clinging tightly to their bodies, water making it practically see-through) It's not. The wet cloths make moving harder, and with each man covered in multiple layers, the clothes are less like an arousing morph suit and more like a deflated stay puft marshmallow man.

In every novel and artwork the couple is so lost in each other, so captured by the moment they don't notice the rain. In a true moment of love they only care for each other. Bullshit. The only thing either man can think of is that their balls have shrunk back from whence they came and their nipples could cut diamonds (and not in a sexy way). Kissing a human Popsicle may have worked in Twilight, but the reality is one level short of sticking your tongue to an icy metal pole in subzero temperatures.

They both agree this was a really stupid idea. Bartolomeo angrily shouts at Cavendish as they sprint back to the hotel. Cavendish being a fan of theatrics had wanted to try it and Bartolomeo being a secret romantic had gone along with it. Cavendish already has the room key in hand when they reach their building and opens the door, stepping back after unlocking it to let Bartolomeo in first. The cannibal lets out a sigh of content as a gust of warm air hits his face. He turns as Cavendish shuts the door behind them and starts peeling the sheets of ice called clothes off the swordmaster's body. Cavendish runs to the bathroom to grab them both towels, throwing Bartolomeo's by the fire to warm, the man gets it after he strips himself. They both sit by the fire agreeing that romance novels are full of shit.

Romantic Oversight and Wearing Your Clothes:

It is supposed to be a sweet and erotic gesture. The woman wears the man's clothes the morning after they make love for the first time. This is followed by hot morning sex and breakfast in bed. On a pirate ship were galleys are regulated by cooks with padlocks (food is just as valuable as gold on the ocean), breakfast in bed does not happen. Bartolomeo figures that at least if number 2 is out, on the list of romantic morning gestures, that number 1 should happen (and it's honestly the more appealing of the two in his mind anyway). Bartolomeo has no problem taking the "woman's role" in the morning-clothes-and-sexy-times operation. Mugiwara allies like Bon Clay and Ivankov had certainly shown him that the ability to kick ass and take names had nothing to do with 'manliness' or clothing choices. Bartolomeo figured he could pull it off too. He was a bit broader than Cavendish, but both men were also about the same height and weight. He pulled the star pants on, bending each leg to test it first and found nothing wrong. Bubbly in excitement he waited for his partner to wake up. Cavendish woke in fits and starts, which worked fine for Bartolomeo. It gave him time to undo the locks and chains (the real reason he woke up hours before his bedmate). Bartolomeo turned to the dresser facing the bed, back to the sleeping man as he put the chains away. The nose of the chains sliding back into the dresser drawer was enough to full rouse Cavendish."What time is it barto-" the green haired man smirked, as Cabbage choked on his words, when the man finally took in the sight in front of him.

"What's wrong dabe?" Bartolomeo asked smugly, wiggling his hips.

"I, you, huh." The man gulped audibly. Bartolomeo put his weight on the dresser front, hips gyrating, grinding the desk front of him. He could hear Cavendish's breath get louder. He arched his back, knees bending. Riiiiiip. Bartolomeo froze in horror. The pants had ripped straight down the middle. The cool morning air fanning his ass to let him know that, yes, this _was_ one of the most embarrassing moments of his life. And for a man that peed in front of hundreds of people with no shame that is saying something. "Bartolomeo." Cavendish's voice was slow with a tone Bartolomeo couldn't pick out.

"Yes?" He croaked face burning in shame.

"You're not wearing any underwear." Bartolomeo nodded in confusion, considering this plan was meant to end with both men naked it hadn't seemed necessary. "Get in bed." At this he turned, Cavendish was panting on the bed, pupils blown, clearly having a very different reaction than he was. Bartolomeo was first and foremost a pirate and if the sea had taught him anything it's that you had to roll with it when the current changes unexpectedly. So he shrugged to himself and walked towards his lover. He decided to be pleased that his plan had somehow gotten him the result he wanted. "Oh and Bartolomeo?"

"Leave the pants on."

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**Endnotes:**

Sorry this took so long to update (and the last one was so tiny too.) If you made it to the end thank you for reading this, you are lovely!

Really, I wasn't going to write anymore after the first chapter, but thanks to you guys here I am!


	3. Bonus Extra

**Title**:** Green Beasts Drabbles  
****Chapter:** **2 Unexpected Dream**  
**Fandom**: One Piece  
**Rating**: T  
**Genre**: Romance  
**Pairing**: BartolomeoxCavendish

**Warning**: Strong Language, heavy making out?  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own One Piece.  
**A/N**: I swear to god this ship will sail, because I fucking ship it. Also if you reviewed the last chapter check the endnotes :)

**Clash of the Green Beasts:  
****Unexpected Dream**

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He dreamed of what would happen after Dressrosa. He'd come in dreaming that he would crush his opponents in the coliseum. Take the mera mera no mi and become the new number one most popular pirate. Then he'd dreamed of crushing Monkey D. Luffy, Hakuba had purred at the idea of slashing the rubber man to pieces. Then he'd dreamed of freedom, of return to his original body. There is no man or woman alive who can truly know how horrible it is to be forgotten and for once, his dream came true. He dreamed of killing Doflamingo for the horrors he'd been put thru. He dreamed of knocking some sense into that idiot Bartolomeo; dreamed of dying heroically next to Trafalgar Law; dreamed of the praise he'd receive for helping his fan defeat the former king of Dressrosa. He'd dreamed of a day when he didn't dread sleep; dreamed of a day when he could fight without worrying about losing control. He'd dreamed about the future, fantasized so many possibilities. Bartolomeo had not been one of them. Lying in bed, in a post-coital haze, the green-haired moron snoring next to him; Cavendish couldn't help but think, maybe the best futures were the ones you never saw coming. He swung an arm over his lover and drifted softly into an unexpected dream.

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Endnotes:

Special thanks to the people who have reviewed the first chapter:

**Parsnippublishing** Thank you for always encouraging me!

**Mothslover** Your review was the nicest review I have ever recieved on ! I continued to write bartocav (bartodish?) fics BECAUSE of your review! :)

**E. Meep** You are my first reviewer for the first yaoi fic I've ever written so thank thank thank you!

I still think this ship deserves fanfiction! Please let me know if you agree. Thank you for reading lovelies!

PS. Let me know if you find any spelling errors. I triple check everything before I post, but English is such a tricky language!


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